April 19
The hardest thing about recovering from my brain tumor is the loneliness. It wasn't just the loneliness of being in the hospital for six weeks, with few visits from family because the hospital was so far away from home it was hard for them to get there. It is the time at home that I spend alone because I can't do anything. Part of it is the physical disability, not being able to walk. I use a walker, and am taken places in a wheelchair. But I get so tired, mentally. My short-term memory problems make it very hard to read, or have a conversation with someone.
April 26
I feel less lonely as I get less disabled. I'm walking outside, and have ordered another cane so I can walk with two outside. I get so tired, walking outside, walking upstairs. But this is how I'm going to get better.
May 2
I am not getting better. I am terribly depressed, and I don't even care. That is the surest sign of real depression.
